Sunday, May 20, 2007

Would you change?

[Change, Tracy Chapman]

This is such a good question... really, when you come face to face with something that needs to change, will you do it? Will I?

What does it take? When there is an area of my life, for example, that is out of line with God's will, will I change it or will I make excuses and numb myself and keep on with it?

Two things come to mind. One is a really frustrating relationship. Honestly, it's relationship I would rather not have. The person has really betrayed trust in a lot of ways, so I have gone through the gamut... anger. Bitterness. Trying to pretend she doesn't exist. Trying to figure out a way to address the problem without hurting other people we both are also close to. I've even tried to pray it through, to trust God and let it go. None of these helped; the last did for a little while, but then there was a new offense and rather than cling to the Truth of God's Word about forgiveness and focusing on Him I went back to my sinful response of self-protection and bitterness.

So I know the Truth. Live unto God, be Christ and treat others as I would treat Christ. Will I change?

Also, for my entire life overeating has been a sin I cling to. I eat out of boredom. Out of habit. Out of addiction. It's sin. I try on my own power to get it under control, but I fail. I've failed time after time after time. I believe that this is just the way I am, obese. Big. Large. However you put it- harsh or gentle, I lack the belief that I could be anything more... well, or less, as the case may be. I try to reform myself, but I always fail. This is because only God can transform.

I cannot serve both God and my addiction to food. So often, food wins. God is to be my only master. Will I change?

Today, I choose to make the change. I'll keep you up to date on my progress.